Have you ever thought that you may not know where exactly you might be heading in life? Or that you’ve just realized that although you’ve thought that you know where you’re heading but actually you don’t? Have you ever thought that money just might be steering your life? I wonder if it's supposed to be that way...
I used to love business. I wanted to be somewhat close to managing things, having my own product, and be close to money. I started to like business when I first came to Indonesia and gave up on my dream of becoming an USAF pilot since I can’t be a fighter pilot for the USAF if I’m not even living in the US. I didn’t want to be a pilot for the Indonesian Air Force because they don’t even have one active fighting squadron. I don’t want to be flying the Hercules most of my flying career just to crash and burn someday on some mountain in Indonesia. I then came up with a theory that if I’m going to go serious with business and take that major at college, in the future I’m going to have a lot of money to start with. I always wanted to open a bar or a club or a lounge of some sort where people could just relax and drink with their friends. Unfortunately, for that dream to come true, I’ll need to find some place to loan me money and I realize the credit system of the banks here is not the same as the credit system in the US or anywhere else in the modern world and I’m not planning to open small business such as opening an internet cafe or such. So in words, I took the conclusion that if I took business major in college, I’ll need a large sum of cash, no cash means no use of the degree I will get from college.
It’s been a while until I decided to browse the internet to look for a major that I might be interested in. And after a little bit of this and a little bit of that I decided to take Public Relations major because I think it fits me. I love to communicate, I love to persuade, I love to meet new people, and my inner ego loves to be the front man (since to me, being a PR of a company means having the responsibility to show the public the good image of that company, sounds like a front man to me) and I thought that since a PR stands in the front line for its company, I thought it’ll get paid well. Then after things were fixed and I decided to take night classes and tried to find a part-time job.
My dad told me about a job vacancy in Australia looking for 1000 divers that are willing to work by clearing and preserving great barrier reefs of Australia. Immediately I was interested for some particular reason that I can’t really explain. Perhaps it’s because my love for the deep blue, of the wonders and the mysteries... Or it might be because of the adventure of the job, learning and seeing new and certainly beautiful creatures and their habitats.... Not to mention the salary...
Never mind that, it caused anxiety instead of interest because it got me thinking of comparison between doing something that you love and getting paid there, instead of doing something not because of your love to the job but your love for the salary here... And to add to that, let’s say, a friend told me something that I haven’t heard for a very long time...
She said “Do what you like and make the best of it, then you'll know how high you appreciate yourself in life”.
It got me thinking something deep... Do I appreciate myself in life because of money..? Would I waste my time on something that I might not be happy with? Now I’m confused because I’m not sure I know what I like to do... I believe I grew up in a society where the people in it are mostly money oriented where the people think that money rules the world and that everything comes from money. Perhaps because people think that with no money they suffer, so if they have much money, they cherish... It’s a bit sad actually, and pathetic if you think of it. Then again if you really think of it, you’ll see that perhaps all of this is because of our status as a third world country, where the people will have to suffer because of the development of their nation, although that suffering does not include the suffering caused by the corruption that is a trend amongst the members of the parliaments these days. I guess I myself was money oriented, corrupted by the thoughts of the common.
I just hope that it’s not too late for me and that I’ll have another chance to actually find out what I want to be and enjoy it because it’s something I like, not because of how much the average salary is...
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